Positioning Yourself to Thrive Series: While Dating

We’re so thrilled that you joined us for our second week of our “Positioning Yourself to Thrive” Series. We loved chatting about Positioning Yourself to Thrive: In Singleness, but this week's focus is all about dating. We are praying that you will stay in your lane and pursue God's will for your relationship- & then be brave enough to follow it.

Hey y’all, Makaela here and I’m so honored to talk with each of you beautiful 20something ladies about dating.

I’ve been in a relationship with a Godly sweet man for 2 years & 7 months and to be honest (because that’s what we do here at Becoming) we’ve had our ups and downs like every couple. We ARE NOT perfect, contrary to Instagram belief (you know what I'm sayin?).We've had arguments, times of confusion, had to learn how to have a healthy balance & Godly boundaries. But at the same exact time, it’s been the best 2 years & 7 months of my life.  The process is worth it.

I can’t wait until I get to marry this man, when that time comes. But in the mean time, and maybe you can relate, I have struggled with constantly receiving other's expectations for our relationship. And I say receiving, becausethere comes a point when other's voices and opinions are so loud that your mind stops just listening & your heart actually starts receiving their words. There comes a point when you’re dating someone for so long that people rush and push you into marriage. That seems to be the question that I get constantly. And while I’m so grateful people ask me that question because it shows me that they see a future with us, guarding my heart from expecting their timelines for my life rather than God's is DANGEROUS territory. 

But it's not just marriage. The expectations and pressures we can feel from the culture come from every angle. And when dating, it's as if the world thinks they know best.

"Have sex before you’re married", "Here's how to be that perfect boyfriend or girlfriend", "Be promiscuous and see what/who works for you. You're not committed you can do what you want with your body", "be those “goals” everyone comments about on social media", and "Know your timeline without putting faith in God".

Friends, I'm not sure what your dating relationship looks like. Who you're dating or what God's plan holds for your future- but there is a truth that I believe we can apply that can make sure we are following His will for our dating relationships.

Luke 11:9 says, “And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

Man oh man do I love this scripture and the amount of truth there is in it. Culture will try and convince us that there are a lot of things we should expect or be experiencing while dating- but the true desires of our hearts, the answers to our prayers of finding our husband, the richness that comes from guarding our hearts and caring for our bodies will not come from soaking in what culture's guidelines for dating.God is asking us to stand firm and turn to Him when we feel the urge to ask and seek what we should do in our relationships. We will not find wise Godly council from the society, but only from our great Heavenly Father.

We have to stay in our own lane, friends. We are all so different and God has a plan and a timelines that will be unique to you. And when we focus on turning our hearts and minds to Him for direction and guidance and help, He will begin to shape our heart and desired so that we can see more clearly His will for our lives.

There is an incredible book out there called “Boundaries In Dating” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I read this book when Taylor and I  first started dating and I highly recommend getting it if you’re in a relationship or even if you know you’ll be in one at some point to prepare yourself for a Godly relationship.

One of my favorite quotes from the book is “In dating, your property is your own soul. Boundaries surround the life God has given you to maintain and mature, so that you can become the person he created you to be".

There isn't a magic formula for dating. God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. And if we can choose to place Him at the center and to fix our eyes on Him and what He is asking of US in our relationships- then He will make sure that the lane/process He created for us to walk works together for our good.

Practical and Simple steps to Position Yourself to Thrive: While Dating: 

Don’t compare yourselves to other people's "perfect social media" relationships because you have a unique path of your own that the Lord has given you to enjoy and steward.

 2.Seek God and HIS council instead of turning to the culture's expectations.

Pray with one another and be willing to have open communication about what the Word of God says and what He is speaking to your hearts. This is so so important. Allow BOTH of you to focus on God individually & together.

3. Set boundaries with your significant others.

I'm talking how late you hang out together, getting a mentor for accountability, hanging out with friends and not just alone etc. Some great examples are in the book Boundaries for Dating!

Ladies, I want you to know that we’re praying for you through your dating season because we are there or have been there ourselves and it can be difficult, but with God at the center of your life and relationships you will experience His blessing planned for you.

LET'S CHAT BELOW:

In your dating life, What are some things that you feel society pushes down on you? What are your struggles? Let’s go deeper together below in the comments so we can pray for you!