Positioning Yourself to Thrive Series: In Marriage
Friends! Today we finish up our Positioning Yourself to Thrive Series (In Singleness, While Dating & In Marriage) & we don't know about you but we have absolutely loved this series. There is something powerful that can happen when we choose to stay in the lane God has called us to run in instead of giving in to the expectations of culture around us. Today I, Lanissa, am sharing some of the most important things I've learned in Ry & I's first year of marriage. Things that we can do to Position Ourselves to Thrive in the years to come.
I can hardly believe that we have almost been married for an entire year, on March 5th. AH! A dream that lingered in our hearts for so long suddenly a reality & here we are in the middle of our answered prayer (messy, beautiful & imperfectly wonderful). I remember our Wedding Day like it was yesterday & how the weeks leading up to that day were full of moments with the Lord where I realized I was ready to be a wife.
Being married is the greatest joy, apart from the Holy Spirit, that I have ever experienced. Ryan and I are best friends, very similar in most ways but very opposite in others (like the way we communicate haha... can I get an amen ladies?!). And this past year has been full of freely loving when we wan't to & choosing to love/respect when we don't feel like it.
I once heard someone say, "In Marriage there are WOW days and VOW days". So true. I'm not sure how long you've been married, but I do know that Christ desires for your marriage to thrive. In the messy/painful moments & beautiful seasons- there can be purpose and even joy in it all when in Him.
I'm not an expert, but I know what I've learned from 1 year of real-life marriage as a 20something. I hope they can encourage & help you Position Your Marriage to Thrive! <3
God has called you & your husband to run your own race. He has a process & journey that is unique to you and comparing yourself to other couples will only hinder you from enjoying the fullness of your journey.
He has a family dynamic, career or ministry path, struggles & successes , unique personalities & adventures that are perfect for you two. Guard yourselves from comparing your marriage to others on Instagram, Youtube Vlogs (guilty) or even couples around you.
2. Spending quality time with each other has to become intentional.
Ry & I spend most of our days together, we work together (in the same office room haha) & then go home together! But we've noticed that sitting on the couch, scrolling on our phones every night is NOT quality time. And we begin to notice we're feeling distant. Take a break from your phones an hour before you go to bed, spend intentional time just talking- it makes a difference!
3. Communication is HARD & takes practice- but will save you some heart ache!
Real moment? Ry & I have had a few moments where we had to share some really raw, ugly emotions that brought many tears. But because we love each other, we had to learn how to communicate through those emotions and in day to day conversation. One method we've learned is W.I.N. When your spouse does something that brings some hurt or negativity you say, When you do this..., I feel like this..., and in the future I Need you to consider doing this instead.
4.Respecting your Husband behind his back & in front of his face means SO much to him.
Women love to feel cherished, men need to feel respected. This is something I have always strived to do, to support & speak highly of my husband in front of others (especially when others are in a way "bashing" their husbands). I want to honor Ryan, with my words and my actions no matter where I am or who I'm with.
5. Find household chores that you each don't mind doing & create a routine!
This one is super practical but in our home so needed. Ry doesn't like to clean, but I can't do it all on my own. So we wrote out all of the chores, picked ones we "enjoyed" and then scheduled it out. Maintaining a clean home is important to me- it just feels good & this method helped us!
6. VALUE date nights!!
This is such a big deal to me. We have our date nights every Friday & we try our hardest to never cancel. They aren't always extravagant, usually they are pretty cheap or free but I never want to stop dating my husband. Those Friday nights always bring us closer together & leave us more in love with each other.
Ryan's BONUS:Learn both of your love languages & be intentional about loving each other in that way!
Ryan's love language is acts of service, mine is quality time. So instead of always loving each other the way we WANT to receive love we have to be intentional about loving in a way that they desire. Check out the 5 Love Languages Quiz HERE!
